I, The Emporer of The Universe and all things and whatsits and bits that are mine as all bits are, was born and hissed and spat at life, the universe and everything.
One day a Two Legs came and took me from my brother and sister. My mum hissed and spittedimuss and bit him on the leg. I hissed and spittedmuss and bit him on the hand. My brother and sister ran away - but then again...they weren't meimuss.
I was put in a cage in the Two Legs houseimuss and hissed and spat - and ate food and slept but only when The Two Legs wasn't lookingimuss.
The Two Legs said I was 'Feral'. I has no idea what that means so it must mean I am specialimuss.
When I was still little - but bigger than the little I was - the Two Legs lets me out of cage and I hissed and spits at other cats so they would knowimuss I was THE CAT.
The other cats accepted me as their leader - except when they hit me on the headimuss and batted me around the floorimuss and had the audacity to suggest I was little and should know my placeimuss!!!
I knows my placeimuss!!!!
I is Maximus Spittimus!!!! The Emporer Maximus Spittimus!!!! The reason for the universe and ALL things existing!!!
My DJ advised me and guided me and then he diedimuss....I was shocked!!! My advisor left me...but not in my headimuss!!!
DJ was oldimuss...he was 21 years oldimuss!!! That is not old that is ancients!!!
DJ told me I was destined to rule the universe...I had no idea what the universe was but I is quite hppy to rule it!!!
So I does.
I rules the universe. The Maximus Spittimus Universe. The only universe. It is THE ONE UNIVERSE as I is THE ONE AND ONLY MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS.
When DJ went to GREAT CAT, Scampi - who is 21 years old too....21????? That is not old...that is waaaaaay beyond old - said "MAXIMUS! You is great cat and you will rule all the universe!" - well Scampi maybe old and senile and daft as a brush but he knows things!!!! He knows I is in chargeimuss!!!
I as Centurions watching over me.
SCAMPI THE WISE.....
BUMBLE THE TEACHER....
STEALTH BOMBER THE HUNTER....
...and now I as Centurions around the world watching over me.
I is here immortal!!! I is here foreverimuss!!!!
I rules foreverimuss!!!...and I will be kind to ALL.....well...most all....
Two Legs who feed me are immortalimuss!!!.....Centurions who join me are immortalimuss!!!!.....even Wabbits and Dogs and Giraffes (what is Giraffe?) and Meerkats....they has Kat in their name so...er....Kat...Cat....oh I doesn't know....my Centurions protectimuss ME!!!!!
I is ONE. I is only ONE year old and I is THE ONLY ONE.
The only and immortal ruler of the universe MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS.
...and I has spokens.
You is the honourimuss of my speakings
Aide de Camp
Aide de Camp
Thank you to Four Dinners & Maximus Spittimus for doing this Talkie Tuesday!